24 Can't Possibly Have a Good Finale!
Despite the addition of the incredibly gifted pilot, Scott Evans, 24 has blown chunks over the past 2 months. Let's go over some of the most glaring plot flaws. I call them "flaws" because while not necessarily "holes" or "errors," most of these are either really lame or could be easily corrected with basic dialogue. Here is a litany of my current beefs.
-Henderson Inexplicably Hands His Collateral to a Scrawny Pilot
Why was he giving the recording to a pilot on some diplomatic flight? Think about all the possibilities here from the writers' perspective. I was expecting a North Korean or Chinese martial artist or maybe a character from the past. But no, the anti-Jack gave his prized possession to a 155 pound back-up pilot who was easily discoverable. I don't get it.
-Wayne's World III: Wayne Turns Black
Where the hell did Wayne Palmer go? He was so precious that Jack carried him along during covert missions requiring major combat skills. Then, he sent him to the one house where he could be safe-Buchanan's. The house was searched and everyone bailed 2 hours later. Meanwhile, Wayne is unmentioned and nowhere to be found. It takes one sentence of dialogue to explain that he found another safehouse or is hiding in the garage. Weak writing.
-Jack Pretends It's 1883 and Electronic Recording Can't be Done
The very first thing any rational individual would do after possessing the recording is to replicate it. It creates the ability to relocate on a whim and control Logan while protecting yourself. If I die, I still have two dozen other people who can carry out my mission. Yes, I realize the integrity and reliability of the recording declines with each subsequent copying, but let's do some risk/rewards here. It's stored on a flimsy drive that could be destroyed if Jack falls asleep on the ride back to CTU. And at least play the damn thing for Hayes and other operatives so they know you aren't full of shit.
-Let's Transport the Most Dangerous Foreign Terrorist at 3 a.m. on the Day of His Master Plan
This one is inexplicable. Vladimir Bierko desperately needs to go to an identical cell in another intelligence agency. And Logan wasn't even in on the planning? Uh, ok.
-Bierko Gets ANOTHER Canister of Poison Gas in 18 Minutes
All 20 of the other canisters were accounted for earlier in the season (yes, I'm a poindexter and counted because I know how 24 writers think). This means either one of the prior canisters was phony or another raid took place that we don't know about ON THE SAME DAY. Throw me a bone here, guys. We had to deal with Rudy's crackhead sister. You could at least show me some more violence integral to the storyline.
-Henderson Tricks Sub-100 IQ Jack Bauer
How does Jack really believe that the phony defection plot was legitimate? Why wouldn't Henderson have explained that he would have feigned interest in the other side before the raid to prevent CTU from jumping through the windows and walls? Jack Bauer is that gullible?
-Chloe Dabbles in Down Syndrome
Let's leave the entire value of our livelihoods with a 105 pound computer nerd. It isn't surprising that Miles sabotaged the recording considering Jack left her alone to make-out with Pointy Nose. What a joke. Also, how exactly did Miles ruin the file without touching it? I'd assume some type of magnetic interference, but once again, the writers didn't feel the need to inject the one sentence it'd take to inform the audience about a basic aspect of the plot.
-Nuclear Submarines Are More Vulnerable Than Arby's?
Three sailors and two pistols. That was all the terrorists had to overcome to commandeer a Russian nuclear sub with 15 warheads on board. First off, submarines have cameras when surfaced. No one would ever open the hatch for exactly that reason. Second, how did they get to the "civilian" naval base without detection or alerting the martial law checkpoints (they had to go from CTU)? Third, how were air force fighters not scrambled in the 15 minute ordeal in time to sink the surfaced sub once it was taken?
-Tony's Still Dead
I still haven't recovered from the lame death scene. Why did that serum kill him when it wasn't able to keep Hendo unconscious??? Then, Jack has the audacity to not use Tony and Michelle's deaths as motivation for hunting down Henderson. I won't recover from the ridiculous inclusion of Carlos Bernard in Season 5.
If 24 can tie up these loose ends, the finale will get an 8/10. Good luck jumping the shark.
-Henderson Inexplicably Hands His Collateral to a Scrawny Pilot
Why was he giving the recording to a pilot on some diplomatic flight? Think about all the possibilities here from the writers' perspective. I was expecting a North Korean or Chinese martial artist or maybe a character from the past. But no, the anti-Jack gave his prized possession to a 155 pound back-up pilot who was easily discoverable. I don't get it.
-Wayne's World III: Wayne Turns Black
Where the hell did Wayne Palmer go? He was so precious that Jack carried him along during covert missions requiring major combat skills. Then, he sent him to the one house where he could be safe-Buchanan's. The house was searched and everyone bailed 2 hours later. Meanwhile, Wayne is unmentioned and nowhere to be found. It takes one sentence of dialogue to explain that he found another safehouse or is hiding in the garage. Weak writing.
-Jack Pretends It's 1883 and Electronic Recording Can't be Done
The very first thing any rational individual would do after possessing the recording is to replicate it. It creates the ability to relocate on a whim and control Logan while protecting yourself. If I die, I still have two dozen other people who can carry out my mission. Yes, I realize the integrity and reliability of the recording declines with each subsequent copying, but let's do some risk/rewards here. It's stored on a flimsy drive that could be destroyed if Jack falls asleep on the ride back to CTU. And at least play the damn thing for Hayes and other operatives so they know you aren't full of shit.
-Let's Transport the Most Dangerous Foreign Terrorist at 3 a.m. on the Day of His Master Plan
This one is inexplicable. Vladimir Bierko desperately needs to go to an identical cell in another intelligence agency. And Logan wasn't even in on the planning? Uh, ok.
-Bierko Gets ANOTHER Canister of Poison Gas in 18 Minutes
All 20 of the other canisters were accounted for earlier in the season (yes, I'm a poindexter and counted because I know how 24 writers think). This means either one of the prior canisters was phony or another raid took place that we don't know about ON THE SAME DAY. Throw me a bone here, guys. We had to deal with Rudy's crackhead sister. You could at least show me some more violence integral to the storyline.
-Henderson Tricks Sub-100 IQ Jack Bauer
How does Jack really believe that the phony defection plot was legitimate? Why wouldn't Henderson have explained that he would have feigned interest in the other side before the raid to prevent CTU from jumping through the windows and walls? Jack Bauer is that gullible?
-Chloe Dabbles in Down Syndrome
Let's leave the entire value of our livelihoods with a 105 pound computer nerd. It isn't surprising that Miles sabotaged the recording considering Jack left her alone to make-out with Pointy Nose. What a joke. Also, how exactly did Miles ruin the file without touching it? I'd assume some type of magnetic interference, but once again, the writers didn't feel the need to inject the one sentence it'd take to inform the audience about a basic aspect of the plot.
-Nuclear Submarines Are More Vulnerable Than Arby's?
Three sailors and two pistols. That was all the terrorists had to overcome to commandeer a Russian nuclear sub with 15 warheads on board. First off, submarines have cameras when surfaced. No one would ever open the hatch for exactly that reason. Second, how did they get to the "civilian" naval base without detection or alerting the martial law checkpoints (they had to go from CTU)? Third, how were air force fighters not scrambled in the 15 minute ordeal in time to sink the surfaced sub once it was taken?
-Tony's Still Dead
I still haven't recovered from the lame death scene. Why did that serum kill him when it wasn't able to keep Hendo unconscious??? Then, Jack has the audacity to not use Tony and Michelle's deaths as motivation for hunting down Henderson. I won't recover from the ridiculous inclusion of Carlos Bernard in Season 5.
If 24 can tie up these loose ends, the finale will get an 8/10. Good luck jumping the shark.
posted by The Eminent Gadfly at 2:54 PM
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